Your Most Important Relationship: How to Practice Self-Love

Your relationship with yourself matters

Meta Description: Learn how to strengthen your relationship with yourself, and explore how self-love, acceptance, and positivity can improve your emotional well-being

Your Relationship with Yourself

Self-love is a form of positive psychology that focuses on kindness, support, acceptance, and nurturance with yourself.

Some signs of self-love include:

• Using positive self-talk, not criticism

• Participating in activities that support your physical and mental well-being

• Setting and upholding personal boundaries

• Being kind and forgiving if you make a mistake

• Celebrating and acknowledging your achievements

• Accepting your strengths and weaknesses

• Not holding onto unreasonable expectations

The Role of Social Media

Have you ever found yourself feeling worse about yourself after spending a few minutes—or hours—on social media? You may be in search of a good laugh, or simply want to feel connected to others, but social media often makes us feel as though we’re lacking in some way, whether it’s our habits, possessions, or experiences. This comparison is what can eat away at your self-esteem and self-love.

When you find yourself jealous of what others have, show yourself compassion and take a moment to reflect on everything that you have. Odds are, there are things about your life that others long for.

How To Practice Self-Love

Negative self-talk is all too common, but when you feel the negativity spiral, it’s time to take a look at your relationship with yourself. If you’re looking to banish the negativity and see the benefits that come from loving yourself, try out these tips:

Learn To Balance Acceptance And Change

It can be hard to find a balance between acceptance and change, but it’s the key to self-love.

You must learn to accept the situation that you’re in, as well as accept yourself in general. In the book Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach discusses radical self-acceptance, which is the concept of fully embracing your true nature, imperfections and all.

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean that you lose the drive to change, though; it simply means that you accept what makes you unique, which allows the best version of yourself to rise. In this way, you allow yourself to change, but not to fit society’s standards or what you see on social media—you change to become your best self.

Supply Yourself With Positive Experiences

When the negativity is high, the best opponent for it is positivity. This technique from dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) offers an alternative perspective when times are difficult.

You can build up short-term or long-term experiences. Short-term experiences may include taking a walk outdoors, watching a favorite TV show, or going out to your favorite restaurant. These are small activities that can quickly provide a positive emotion. As for long-term experiences, these are changes you make in your life to ensure positive things happen more often, such as making goals or focusing on your relationships.

Loving-Kindness Meditation

With this type of meditation, you begin by invoking unconditional love and imagining a person whose love envelops you. Then, you shift your mindset to affirm your worth before expanding the circle to close friends and family, then neutral individuals, the community, planet, and universe.

Through this meditation, you learn to find universal love, even when sitting by yourself, and also rewire your brain to find love for everyone, yourself included.

Start Putting Yourself First

If you’re unsure of how to practice self-love, don’t be afraid to seek out help. Kathy Morelli, LPC, is currently accepting new clients and only practices using the HIPAA-compliant app called Doxy.me. Kathy accepts most insurance plans.

Please contact Kathy via her Psychology Today profile.