Is Suicide More Common During the Holidays? Debunking a Harmful Myth

Kathy Morelli
Dec 7, 2017
4 min read

Updated: 2 days ago

You are Not Alone. You Are Not to Blame. With Help, You Will Feel Better

There is a widespread belief that suicide rates increase during the holidays. This belief is powerful — and frightening — especially if you are already struggling.

But it is also not true.

Research consistently shows that suicide rates do not rise during the holiday season. In fact, many people feel more supported during this time because of increased contact with family, friends, and community gatherings.

That doesn’t mean the holidays are easy. They can be painful, lonely, and emotionally exhausting — especially for people living with depression. But it’s important not to add fear to suffering by believing something that isn’t supported by evidence.

When the Holidays Feel Heavy

If you live with depression, the holiday season can feel like forced cheer. Everywhere you look, there are images of joy, togetherness, and celebration — and if you don’t feel that way, the contrast can be painful.

You may feel:

lonely or isolated
disconnected from others
exhausted by pretending you’re “fine”
ashamed for not feeling grateful or happy

Depression already asks you to fight daily battles for self-esteem and self-worth. During the holidays, those battles can feel even harder.

You may think and feel everyone else, except you, is surrounded by a group of friends and family. You may feel lonely and isolated. Your intense loneliness can feel crushing and all-consuming.

This is not true. In fact, research indicates that people feel more supported during the holidays as they can attend gatherings of family and friends. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be sad.

Black-and-White Thinking and Depression

You fall into that old way of thinking, black and white thinking. You know that all or nothing feeling, everything is either/or...no shades of gray exist when you’re swamped by your feelings of depression.

Black-and-white thinking is a symptom of depression. It’s also a symptom of anxiety as well as other mental illnesses. When you’re feeling very depressed, your body is stressed. Black-and-white thinking is part of the brain's stress response; you go into survival mode, which limits perspective and flexibiity.

When this happens, the old myth may creep in: “Everyone feels worse during the holidays." Thoughts of self-harm may creep in.

Again — self-harm does NOT increase during the holidays.

And believing it can make suffering feel more dangerous and more permanent than it really is.

Gentle Ways to Care for Yourself

If you’re feeling sad or alone, you don’t need to fix everything at once. Start gently.

Allow yourself to feel sad without judging it
Don't be ashamed of feeling sad, everyone does sometimes
Let feelings come and go — emotions change, moods change...even when they feel stuck

Be kind to yourself, practice exquisite self-care.

Support your nervous system

Take a short walk
Go to the gym
Stretch, do yoga, or move your body gently
Create something — draw, paint, collage, write

Stay connected

Call or text a trusted person
Journal for a few minutes in the morning or evening
Find a reputable online support group
Seek professional support — this is an act of strength, not failure

If you are truly alone during the holidays, volunteering at a shelter or nursing home can provide meaningful connection and remind you that your presence matters.

Allow yourself the luxury of some sad feelings, it’s normal to be sad sometimes.

It’s normal that after some time, our moods change, and we feel better after a while.

When to Get More Help

Feeling sad at times is part of being human. But if sadness, numbness, or hopelessness lasts more than two weeks, or begins to interfere with daily life, it’s important to reach out for help.

Talk with a friend. Call a counselor. Use the health benefits available to you. You do not have to do this alone.

If You Are in Crisis

If you are thinking about harming yourself or feel unsafe:

• Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)

• Go to the nearest emergency room• Call 911 if you are in immediate danger

If you are outside the U.S., local crisis lines and emergency services can help connect you with support.

You deserve help, and support is available 24/7.

A Final Word

You are not weak for struggling.You are not broken.You are not to blame.

Depression can distort how the world feels and how the future looks — but help is available, and healing is possible.

With support, things can change.

If you’d like a deeper understanding of the inner emotional experience of suicidality, you may find Psychache: The Inner Emotions of Suicide helpful.