DBT: Live in the Balance of Acceptance and Change

DBT helps us balance acceptance and change

We all experience moments when our mood suddenly shifts. Our emotional reactions can seem out of proportion, leaving us feeling overwhelmed. You might feel sadness or guilt that lingers too long. Anxiety can keep you awake at night. Anger may come out sharper than intended. Sometimes, even small things can drain you completely.

For some, these deep emotional reactions are not just overwhelming; they spill over into relationships, work, and everyday life. This creates cycles of conflict, guilt, resentment, and burnout. If your emotions feel too intense to manage, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can help you develop skills for calmness, connection, and clarity.

What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy?

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of psychotherapy. It helps people control overwhelming emotions, become more tolerant of stress, and improve their relationships. DBT is one part of cognitive behavioral therapy. Like CBT, it helps you learn to identify and change unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaving. However, DBT also teaches you to accept yourself as you are.

The word dialectical means bringing together two theoretically opposing ideas: acceptance and change. Working with a DBT therapist can teach you to accept yourself while building new skills that help you grow and make positive changes. DBT doesn't teach you to ignore or erase emotions. Instead, it helps you understand, regulate, and respond to them in healthier ways.

Psychologist Dr. Marsha Linehan first developed dialectical behavior therapy in the late 1980s to support adult women with borderline personality disorder (BPD). However, DBT has proven helpful for various mental health and behavioral problems, such as anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, anger issues, and relationship challenges.

How DBT Can Help When Emotions Feel Too Big

You may often find yourself overwhelmed by emotions, feeling as if they are bigger than you. Perhaps you react in ways that don't always make sense. You might freeze during conflict, lash out when hurt, or suddenly feel crushed by sadness. You may find yourself insecure in your relationships, needing constant reassurance and validation to feel safe. Or, you might turn to harmful coping strategies like binge eating, drinking, substance use, overspending, or self-harm. While these responses may seem to soothe intolerable feelings in the moment, they often leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, or isolated afterward.

If that sounds familiar, remember that you are not broken. Your reactions signal deep emotional pain. There are gentle, effective ways to learn how to hold and heal.

The Unique Balance Between Acceptance and Change

DBT offers practical skills to validate your experiences without judgment while building healthier coping and communication strategies. For example, you can feel uncertain and still take a step forward on your healing journey. You can feel insecure and still stand up for yourself. You can feel broken inside and still be worthy of love.

The Four Core DBT Skill Areas

DBT provides real-life tools to manage strong emotions, improve communication, and respond to stress in healthier ways. In your DBT sessions, you will not only talk about your problems but also learn how to cope with them.

Dialectical behavior therapy focuses on four essential skill categories:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness practice is at the core of DBT. You learn to stay present in the moment and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This awareness helps you notice when your feelings become unhelpful or overwhelming, breaking the cycle of anxiety and restoring calm.

Emotion Regulation

DBT helps you better understand your emotions. You learn to recognize and name your feelings, gradually developing skills to manage intense emotions without feeling out of control.

Distress Tolerance

There will be moments when feelings feel almost unbearable. Distress tolerance skills help you "ride the wave." You learn to notice, accept, and express emotions without letting them overwhelm you. Just like ocean waves, you learn to let your feelings rise, peak, and then settle while remaining grounded—whether facing panic, intense anger, flashbacks, or deep emotional pain.

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Anxiety, depression, or trauma can leave marks on your relationships. Vulnerability may seem unbearable, leading you to withdraw when things feel too close. Interpersonal effectiveness helps you open up to vulnerability, set healthy boundaries, and assertively ask for what you need while respecting yourself and others.

By practicing these skills, you learn to acknowledge, pause, reflect, and choose how to respond, rather than feeling like your emotions control you.

How DBT Fits into a Holistic Approach

At Heartlife Holistic, healing is about caring for the whole person—mind, body, and spirit. DBT fits naturally into this approach because it focuses on managing symptoms while building awareness, compassion, and resilience.

DBT integrates mindfulness practices that help you stay grounded, self-compassion techniques that quiet the inner critic, and communication skills that nurture healthier relationships. When combined with other holistic practices, DBT helps your mind, body, and heart find stability, ease, and peace.

Common Challenges DBT Can Help With

Dialectical Behavior Therapy is often recommended for people who struggle with intense emotions and the ripple effects they create in daily life. DBT is especially helpful for:

• Emotional overwhelm and mood swings

• Anxiety and depression

• Trauma-related struggles

• Relationship conflict

• Impulsivity and self-sabotaging behaviors

  
  

By teaching skills to slow down, manage emotions, and respond with more clarity, DBT helps break these patterns. Life can feel less like constant damage control and more like intentional living.

Ready to Get Started with DBT for Emotional Healing?

If you often feel overwhelmed by emotions that seem too powerful to manage, or if you find yourself repeating unhealthy patterns, working with a trained DBT therapist can provide you with the skills needed for coping. You can navigate life's ups and downs with more clarity, resilience, and self-kindness.

Integrated into a holistic wellness approach—alongside mindfulness, movement, and nourishing self-care—DBT offers a path to greater balance. You will learn to embrace both acceptance and change.

Interested in working with a therapist who embraces a holistic approach to ensure your mental, emotional, and physical well-being is supported? Contact Kathy Morelli, LPC today to learn more or schedule a free consultation.

References

Corliss, J. (2024, January 22). Dialectical behavior therapy: What is it and who can it help? Harvard Health. Retrieved on August 18, 2025, from https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/dialectical-behavior-therapy-what-is-it-and-who-can-it-help-202401223009

Chapman, A. L. (2006). Dialectical behavior therapy: Current indications and unique elements. Psychiatry (Edgmont), 3(9), 62–68. Retrieved on August 18, 2025, from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2963469/

Rizvi, S. L., Bitran, A. M., Oshin, L. A., Yin, Q., & Ruork, A. K. (2024). The state of the science: Dialectical behavior therapy. Behavior Therapy, 55(6), 1233–1248. Retrieved on August 19, 2025, from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005789424000303

Swales, M. A. (2009). Dialectical Behaviour Therapy: Description, research and future directions.International Journal of Behavioral Consultation and Therapy, 5*(2), 164–177. Retrieved on August 19, 2025, from https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2010-18457-001.html

Eeles, J., & Walker, D. M. (2022). Mindfulness as taught in dialectical behavior therapy: A scoping review. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 29(6), 1843–1853. Retrieved on August 19, 2025, from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10084181/