Finding Yourself: How to Develop a Strong Sense of Self

Meta Description: Feeling lost or unsure of who you are? Discover how to strengthen your sense of self by defining your values to create a more grounded, fulfilling life.

Emotional growth is one element of a strong sense of self

If you feel untethered through life or don’t know who you truly are—that’s natural. For most people, their sense of self doesn’t strengthen or develop until their mid-twenties to thirties, and that’s because up until that point, you’re still taking in the world around you, trying out new things, and gaining experience which you can then use to truly define your sense of self.

What Is My Sense of Self?

Your sense of self is more than your likes and dislikes; it’s your perception of your moral center, values, and how you feel about the choices that you make.

Your sense of self is ever evolving. It’s a work in progress built on your experiences thus far in life, and as you gain new experiences, it continues to evolve.

One element of sense of self is emotional growth, which is a concept within dialectical behavioral therapy.

Emotional growth refers to your ability to manage multiple strong emotions and allow each one to hold true at the same time. As you develop your sense of self, you also grow emotionally, which then allows you to feel more emotions and learn to manage them in a way that aligns with your values.

The Importance of a Strong Sense of Self

If you feel lost, focusing on strengthening your sense of self can bring immense value to your life.

Your sense of self helps to feed the choices that you make. It also gives you a feeling of “fullness” because you’re proud of your values and how they align with your moral center. When you feel full in this way, you don’t have to turn to negative addictions, such as money, drugs, or porn, to fill yourself up, and when you drop negative addictions, you make more room for positivity in your life.

While knowing the importance of your sense of self is crucial, it’s even more important to know how to strengthen it.

How to Create a Strong Sense of Self

Creating a strong sense of self centers on better understanding what you enjoy and what you feel when encountering various experiences. Here are some ways to strengthen your sense of self:

Develop Your Interests

Exploring and developing hobbies and skills are another element of a strong sense of self

Find what brings you joy in life, whether it’s cooking a new recipe, reading a book, or spending time with friends. Find the joy, then focus on developing these interests and giving yourself time to fully explore them.

Use Your Time

Time is one commodity that is limited for every single person. There’s no way to buy more time, which is why it’s important to use our time wisely. If you’re looking to strengthen your sense of self, this means using your time for your own choices. Rather than do what everyone else wants to do, spend at least a little time each day partaking in activities that you enjoy.

Define Your Values

Take time to look inward and decide on what values you find most important, whether it’s compassion, conservation, or something else. Additionally, define what these values mean to you. What do you see as acts of compassion? How can you take the time to focus on conservation?

Develop Your Sense of Self

Your sense of self is crucial to develop so that you feel as though there is guidance in your life, while also allowing you to feel more grounded in each decision that you make because you know they align with your values.

If you’d like some guidance while developing your sense of self, Kathy Morelli, LPC, is currently accepting new clients and only practices using the HIPAA-compliant app called Doxy.me. Kathy accepts most insurance plans.

Please contact Kathy via her Psychology Today profile.