Originally published September 7, 2011.
Pregnancy is a time of spiritual & psychological growth, but can also be a time of uncertainty. Personal issues as being in a relationship, balancing career and motherhood, and being a good parent may start to show up. During this time of change, intense emotions may come up as you re-evaluate your ideas about life and relationships.
Much joy and much stress may show up, as you wonder about how it will be to become a parent. If you experienced abuse in your past, you may wonder if you can parent calmly, even if you are determined to break the cycle of abuse.
Many social behaviors, including parenting, are learned. You might think there is something wrong with you if you reach out for some help regarding parenting. But without a healthy model of family relationships, it could be tricky developing good parenting habits. Think of learning parenting skills as learning relationship skills.
If you grew up in an abusive or just non-communicative home, it is likely that when you marry, you will discover that you need some help in the how-tos of a relationship. It is the same type of thing when becoming a mother. You might need some some help about the how-to of parenting a newborn and developing your identity as a mother.
Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s ok to ask for help.
Free yourself to experience the joy of being a mom, open yourself up to receiving support from other people. This will help you in developing a relationship with your baby, which grows into a lifetime of shared support.
People with abusive pasts can break the cycle of abuse, and can learn to become understanding and gentle parents, by learning new skills.
Seek the help you deserve. You can go to your local doctor or therapist for assistance. If you are feeling you need immediate help, please contact Befrienders Worldwide. Befrienders Worldwide is a worldwide resource dedicated to reducing emotional suffering and suicide prevention.