Originally posted January 30, 2018.
Banish those negative feelings! Nurturing your connection is important. It’s important to connect positively every day! Research by John Gottman, Ph.D., the grandaddy of marriage counseling, shows that for every negative interaction, five positive ones are needed to compensate to keep up a positive balance of feelings. Happy, stable marriages naturally fall into the 5:1 ratio. The good news is you can consciously make an effort to happily tease your partner, be interested in what s/he has to say, or spontaneously burst into song and dance in the living room!
Valentine’s Day is a good time to positively fill up your relationship’s emotional bank account! It’s a good time to consciously focus on treating your special person well! You don’t need to create alot of stress around one day, and it’s a great time to make a fun date for both of you! It might be fun to share the planning. Maybe you both can plan the venue and menu, one can food shop, you both can choose a dish to make (ooo, can you make a dessert or the pasta?), one can set the table with pretty china and candles, while the other picks up wine and flowers! All positive interactions!
An inexpensive gift for both of you is to create your own massage oil infused with essential oils known to stimulate romantic feelings.
Gather your supplies. A carrier oil, some essential oils and flower essences.
Glass bottles are a good place for mixing. You can save a bottle from your cooking olive oil or avocado oil and wash it in the dishwasher to clean and sterilize it, or purchase amber bottles for mixing.
You must ALWAYS dilute essential oils to use them. Never use essential oils neat, always dilute them as they are very concentrated and can irritate the skin!
1% dilution is mild, and used for children, the elderly and those sensitive souls whose skin and allergies irritate easily. 1% dilution = 5-6 drops per ounce of carrier oil
2% dilution is used for most adults.
2% = 10-12 drops per ounce of carrier oil I am one of those sensitive souls, and I find a 1% dilution to be adequate.
If you are making 4 ounces of massage oil, then use a total of 20 drops of essential oil.
I often use a base of jojoba oil. I love jojoba oil as it actually mimics the chemical composition of human sebum, so jojoba oil naturally penetrates and feeds and balances the skin.
Choose your romantic essential oil fragrances. A balanced mix of yin and yang fragrances are pleasing. Too much floral and it’s too sweet and too much woods tones and it’s too heavy.
Mix and dilute the essential oils into the jojoba oil.
Sandalwood – Lends a calming and relaxing base tone to the blend, considered an aphrodisiac – 3 drops
Ylang Ylang – A lighter, floral fragrance, considered an aphrodisiac – 3 drops
Black Pepper – Lends a masculine warmth and grounding to the blend – 2 drops
Add the energy of Flower Essences.
Rose Flower Essence* – The energy of rose is healing for the heart chakra. Rose essence is the ultimate essence for inviting love into your life.
Mariposa Lily Flower Essence* – The energy of receptivity to human love and nurturing.
Flower Essences are mixed in spring water with a trace amounts of brandy for preservative. In general, this amount of brandy used in a topical solution in trace amounts is safe for pregnancy & while breastfeeding & is generally ok for those healing in recovery. However, if you are unsure of a person in recovery’s reactions, then do not use flower essences.