Matrescence: The Heroine's Journey Into Motherhood

I'm on a mission to include matrescence in our lexicon. Think about the word for adolescence. We all have a general idea of the life changes associated with adolescence—the common psychological, emotional, and physical issues navigated by those in the midst of this life passage. The same can be true for the transition to motherhood.

We can take what we already know about new mothers' experiences to form a deeper understanding of the psychological, emotional, and physical issues facing them as they move through this transformational life passage.

What Is Matrescence?

Matrescence encompasses the embodied feelings, challenges, and qualities of the life passage into motherhood. It is a neurobiological transition that affects the nervous system during the perinatal year, bringing with it profound emotional shifts.

The deeply personal experience of a woman's passage into motherhood is recognized by traditional cultures worldwide—and the term itself was coined by anthropologists. Importantly, matrescence is inclusive of all who do the work of mothering: adoptive mothers, stepmothers, transgender mothers, and dads who mother.

Matrescence is increasingly understood as a normal life passage, involving psychological, emotional, and identity shifts rather than pathology.

A Profound Identity Shift

The transition to motherhood initiates a deep shift in a woman's identity that's physically and hormonally complex, emotionally profound, and changes her place in society—a truly transformative experience.

Western culture marks life transitions with ceremony: the Jewish bar/bat Mitzvah, Christian confirmation, the American Sweet 16. Marriage bridges the family of origin to the creation of one's own home and family. Elaborate baby showers announce impending motherhood, and the more intimate Blessing Way has gained growing popularity.

But how do we acknowledge the profound identity shift into motherhood? How do we talk about the deep challenges of motherhood that can show up as anxiety and depression? What the deep and frightening insecurities are that often accompany the initiation into motherhood?

Do these challenges happen all at once or is there a seemingly unrelenting series of challenges for the individual woman to navigate?

We all have an idea about how profound the life passage into motherhood is. How can we describe and get the qualitative feel of this life passage? Think about how the transition to motherhood initiates a deep shift in a woman's identity that is physically and hormonally complex, emotionally profound and also changes her place in society: a transformative experience.

Acknowledging Transformation: The Heroine's Journey

Traditional and Western cultures alike use stories of heroic journeys as metaphors for an individual's experience of a life passage. These stories typically involve a heroine faced with overwhelming challenges—depression, defeat—who nonetheless pulls through and emerges whole, yet profoundly transformed, with new knowledge and wisdom gained by walking through her dark night of the soul.

We can think of matrescence like this heroine's journey: a series of challenges. The new mother encounters deep emotion—fear, insecurity, depression, anxiety, and anger on different levels. She is tired from the sheer physicality of new motherhood: the lack of sleep, the heaviness of carrying her baby, the surprising and relentless physical dependence of a new life on her own. Her body and her time are no longer exclusively her own.

She sheds the skin of her previous identity and shifts into the role of mother. The cumulative weight of these changes is difficult and startling in so many ways. There is the searing love for her child, frightening in its depth. Her relationship to the world changes—what is safe? What does it mean to be a responsible adult? Who is safe? What are the dangers to this baby without her there to fiercely guard?

Do these challenges arrive all at once, or as a seemingly unrelenting series? The answer is often: both. And that's exactly why naming this passage matters.

Honoring the Journey With Ritual

Traditional culture, and Western culture, use stories of heroic journeys as metaphors for the individual's experience of a life passage. These metaphorical stories usually involve the heroine (or hero) being faced with overwhelming challenges. The heroine is depressed, defeated...but then somehow, pulls through the challenges and makes it through. She comes back to herself, whole, yet profoundly transformed, with new knowledge and wisdom gained by walking through her dark night of the soul. She then uses her new knowledge and wisdom in her life.

We can think of matrescence like a heroine's journey: a series of challenges. As a mother, she encounters deep emotion and movement into the darker emotions. She experiences fear, insecurity, depression, anxiety and anger on different levels. She is tired from the sheer physicality of new motherhood: lack of sleep, the heaviness of carrying the baby, the surprising physical dependence of the baby on her; her body and her time is not exclusively her own anymore.

She sheds the skin of her previous identity and shifts into the role of mother. It's difficult and startling in so many, many cumulative ways. The searing love for her child that is frightening in its depth. Her relationship to the world changes. What's safe? What does it mean to be a responsible adult? Who is safe? What are the dangers to this baby without her there to fiercely guard?

Let's acknowledge the heroine's journey and her transition to motherhood with all of its darkness and joy.

Rituals have long been used to mark life transitions, and the heroine can honor her personal journey with one of her own.

Practices such as the Matrescence Bath Ritual offer space for reflection and emotional integration during this passage - a quiet, intentional moment to honor the enormity of who she is becoming.

Matrescence is increasingly understood as a normal life passage, involving psychological, emotional, and identity shifts rather than pathology.

Matrescence isn't a disorder. It's not a failure. It's a passage—ancient, universal, and profound. By giving it a name, we give new mothers a mirror in which they can see themselves clearly: not broken, but transformed.

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Matrescence is a Normal Life Passage

The Matrescence Bath Ritual

Aromatherapy to Support Matrescence

Sources

Sacks, A, (2017). The birth of a mother. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/08/well/family/the-birth-of-a-mother.html

Bastidas, G., (2022). How to navigate matrescence – the ups and downs of new motherhood. Retrieved February 27, 20023 from

https://www.npr.org/2021/08/08/1024674033/theres-a-name-for-the-ups-and-downs-of-new-motherhood-its-called-matrescence

Masterclass (2021). Writing 101: What Is the Hero’s Journey? 2 Hero’s Journey Examples in Film. Retrieved February 28, 2023 from https://www.masterclass.com/articles/writing-101-what-is-the-heros-journey