5 Parenting Myths New Moms Can Safely Ignore
- Kathy Morelli
- May 5, 2017
- 2 min read
Updated: Feb 20
(Written over 10 years ago)
A Note from a Mom of a 22-Year-Old
To all the new moms out there — hello. I see you.
You do not need to be perfect. You only need to be good-enough. And you and your family will be okay.
I became a mother at 37 after years working in high-pressure IT on Wall Street. I was confident in my career. I could troubleshoot complex systems in the middle of the night.
But I had never changed a diaper.
Parenting required a completely different skill set — one I had to learn from scratch.
And along the way, I heard a lot of advice.
Some of it helpful.Much of it not.
Here are five parenting myths you can safely ignore.
Things won’t be perfect or without pain, but it will be ok.
1. “You’re Spoiling the Baby by Breastfeeding on Demand”
I was told to schedule feedings and limit frequency. But human breast milk adjusts in content and volume based on infant need. Following your baby’s cues supports supply and attachment.
Responsive feeding is not spoiling — it is biology.
2. “If They Don’t Eat Everything Now, They Never Will”
I was warned that picky eating in toddlerhood meant permanent restriction.
It didn’t.
Development is dynamic. Exposure over time matters. Modeling matters. Stress does not help.
Children grow and change — just as we do.
3. “If You Co-Sleep, They’ll Never Sleep Alone”
We practiced co-sleeping for a period of time. One evening, he simply transitioned to his own room without drama.
Children move through phases. Most parenting decisions are not permanent destinies.
4. “If You Don’t Spank, You’re Too Soft”
Research consistently shows that physical punishment increases aggression and does not improve long-term emotional regulation.
Choosing calm, firm, connected discipline is not weakness. It requires self-regulation.
And not everyone will agree with your approach — and that’s okay.
5. “You Must Get It Right the First Time”
You won’t. None of us do.
Parenting is an evolving relationship. It includes joy, doubt, mistakes, repair, and growth.
Good-enough parenting — a concept introduced by pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott — reminds us that children do not need perfection. They need attuned, responsive caregivers who repair when missteps happen.
A Final Word
The loudest voices offering advice may not be present in your life in five years.
Your child will be.
Do some research. Trust your instincts. Seek support when needed. And extend compassion to yourself during this enormous life transition.
You are learning a new role.That takes time.
Love is the answer
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