Why So Many People Can’t Rest

Burnout, Anxiety, and a Nervous System Stuck in “On”

Many people have access to time off and still don’t take it. Others technically take vacation but remain tethered to work—checking email, thinking about deadlines, worrying about what they’re missing or what will await them when they return.

This is often framed as a motivation problem, a work ethic issue, or a cultural flaw. But from a mental health perspective, something deeper is happening.

For many people, rest does not feel safe.

When the Nervous System Won’t Power Down

Chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout change how the nervous system functions. When the nervous system is repeatedly pushed into states of urgency, vigilance, and performance, it begins to interpret “doing” as safety and “not doing” as risk.

In this state, slowing down can actually feel uncomfortable or even threatening. People report feeling:

• guilty when resting

• anxious when not being productive

• uneasy during unstructured time

• compelled to stay available or responsive

  
  

This is not laziness or poor boundaries. It is a nervous system conditioned to stay on high alert.

Rest as a Perceived Threat

Many people who struggle to rest carry unspoken fears such as:

• If I stop, I’ll fall behind.

• If I’m not indispensable, I’ll be replaceable.

• If I disconnect, something bad might happen.

  
  

Over time, productivity becomes fused with safety, worth, or belonging. Rest, instead of being restorative, is unconsciously interpreted as risk.

From a trauma-informed lens, this makes sense. The nervous system adapts to environments where availability, responsiveness, or over-functioning were once necessary for survival—emotionally, financially, or relationally.

When the nervous system remains on high alert, sleep is often one of the first casualties, reinforcing the cycle of exhaustion and anxiety.

Burnout Is a Nervous System Injury

Burnout is not just exhaustion. It is a state of nervous system dysregulation.

Common signs include:

• difficulty relaxing even when time is available

• irritability and emotional numbing

• disrupted sleep

• cognitive fog or indecision

• loss of joy or color in life

  
  

When burnout is present, simply telling someone to “take time off” misses the point. Without addressing the underlying nervous system patterns, time away may not feel restorative at all.

Why Time Off Alone Isn’t Enough

Rest is not only about absence from work; it is about a felt sense of safety.

If the nervous system remains in a threat state, vacation can become another performance:

• planning the “perfect” break

• staying hyper-connected

• returning more depleted than before

  
  

True restoration requires learning how to signal safety to the body, not just changing the calendar.

Relearning Rest as Safety

For many people, the path back to rest is gradual. It often involves:

• noticing anxiety or guilt without immediately overriding it

• practicing small moments of pause rather than forced relaxation

• working with the body, not just the mind

• understanding personal patterns of over-responsibility or hyper-vigilance

  
  

This is where therapy, mindfulness, somatic approaches, and nervous system education can help.

Rest becomes something that is relearned, not commanded.

Time in nature — whether through a quiet walk or intentional forest bathing — can help signal safety to a stressed nervous system.

A Different Way to Think About Rest

Rest is not a reward for productivity. It's not a luxury. It's not a moral failure.

Rest is a biological requirement for nervous system regulation, emotional resilience, and mental health.

When someone struggles to rest, the most compassionate question is not “Why won’t you slow down?” I

It's “What has your nervous system learned to fear?”

"Why is your nervous system hypervigilant?

A Gentle Closing

If you find yourself unable to rest—even when you have permission, time, or resources—there is nothing wrong with you. Your nervous system may simply be doing what it learned to do.

With understanding, support, and care, it can learn something new.