Perfection Is Not the Goal Many new parents...especially people who grew up in dysfunctional families...carry the fear: What if I don’t get this right? What if my baby doesn't feel loved? Attachment research offers reassuring news. Healthy attachment is not built through constant attunement or flawless parenting. It develops through repeated moments of connection — including moments of rupture and repair. Two influential thinkers help us understand this: Donald Winnicott and

What Is a Postpartum Doula? A postpartum doula is a trained professional who supports a family after the birth of a baby. Many describe their role as “mothering the mother” — or even “a grandmother for hire.” Unlike medical providers, postpartum doulas do not offer medical advice or clinical care. Instead, they provide: Emotional reassurance Practical newborn guidance Help with light household tasks Support for rest and recovery Most postpartum doulas are experienced mother

In my work as a perinatal psychotherapist, I have had the honor of hearing many women’s oral histories about their childbirth experiences. I often sit with women who have nearly died during childbirth — most commonly due to hemorrhage. **Due to the confidential and deeply personal nature of my work, I never share identifying information about clients. Today, I want to speak about the intersection of maternal mortality and post-traumatic stress after childbirth (PTSD following

Facing the Reality of Postpartum Depression Postpartum depression changed my life. I let my postpartum depression go untreated for a long time after my son was born. I suffered needlessly — and my husband suffered too. A therapist very kindly referred me to a female psychiatrist, more than once. But I refused. I was nursing, and those nursing times were the best parts of my day. They were soothing. I could sit, breathe, and feel the love between us. I did not want to expose m

(Written over 10 years ago) A Note from a Mom of a 22-Year-Old To all the new moms out there — hello. I see you. You do not need to be perfect. You only need to be good-enough. And you and your family will be okay. I became a mother at 37 after years working in high-pressure IT on Wall Street. I was confident in my career. I could troubleshoot complex systems in the middle of the night. But I had never changed a diaper. Parenting required a completely different skill set — on

Guest Post: Today I am pleased to have Jennifer Killi Marshall guest posting here today. Her article today is about what is was like for her to become an active participant in managing her well-being and what point she realized that self-care is not just a worn-out concept. Hers is an important story about coping and thriving as a mom with bipolar disorder. I love Jennifer’s story. Because, as a therapist, I always wonder how to reach people, to help them come to th